Harriet Evans on non-alcoholic festive cheer and time travel…

I live with a man who one year bought me WINDSCREEN WIPERS for Christmas*. This is not a joke. I think he intended it to be a joke and then, ha, it was anything but.

I used to think the most boring presents were ‘smellies’ as my best friend used to call them – first, The Body Shop stuff and later any kind of bath oil, or something. Now, that is my absolute dream. Neal’s Yard bath salts, Ren body scrub, Jo Malone fluffy cream – bring it on. I love the stuff.

What I am also hoping for this year is:

• Non-alcoholic sloe gin (because I am pregnant but I love the stuff)
• Non-alcoholic hot buttered rum (ditto)
• Eggnog without the alcohol (ditto)

You get the picture.

Also, maybe some nice jewellery? My sister always seems to buy me something that I love more than anything I’ve ever owned and it’s from somewhere genius like Zara. I wish I had THAT gift. Basically I want my sister to buy all my presents this year, thanks Cal.

I don’t really need much else apart from the non-alcoholic items listed above and the extensive bath-soaking equipment. A warmer house would be nice but I appreciate for that I need to go back to Victorian times and tell them to build better houses. So… time travel, I’d like time travel for Christmas.

Happy Christmas to you all and may all your Christmas wishes, even ones as realistic as this, come true.

 *added information: the windscreen wipers were worse than the ones I then had on the car and they ended up in a bin on the M40.

Harriet’s Christmas e-novella A WINTERFOLD CHRISTMAS is available in ebook and paperback now.

In case you missed it…

Natalie Meg Evans on traditions, tinsel and Christmas-card-towers

Christina Hopkinson shares her plans for the festive season